Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I'm sitting on the floor with the sweetest little mini dachshund in my lap. All day I had a piercing headache but somehow managed to breathe. I say somehow, but I know it was through the grace of God. When I say breathe I mean find some peace. I use breathe a lot when I write. Often I find myself anxious and tense without even realizing it, not breathing deeply because my stomach is so tight. Breathe moments are when I can stop for a second, take a deep breath, and know that everything is ok. All is well. Sometimes days and weeks go by without one of these moments and it is so refreshing when it comes. Today was a breathe day. With the exception of this morning I could think clearly most of the day. Everyone seemed ok with me. This is such a relief when almost constantly I am plagued with the lie that someone or another must be mad at me. I'm grasping a deeper sense of who Jesus is, feeling more free in light of it. Now is not so cool, but I have hope for a future. Channeling my thoughts and soul into writing for God to use however he chooses. Knowing that he will because he quite deliberately put this passion for it in me. Maybe a new leaf has been turned over. Lord, let this not be a phase, but instead a new glory.